Honey Badger Just Dont Care

Look out Bees and Cobras

Honey Badger is HAPPILY Awaiting the 1st Day of School!

OK, so tomorrow is the small child’s first day of 1st Grade! HOOORAY! I think I may set up a Mimosa stand at the bus stop. Aside from the usual paper signing, pencil sharpening (40!) and back pack organizing, I had a separate assignment that I needed to complete before tomorrow:

TELL US ABOUT YOUR CHILD!

Ummmm…..OK…….well…..you asked for it….

(for informational purposes, small child’s Special Ed Preschool Teacher from 2 years ago has moved into 1st grade. We LOVE her and have not seen her since, so she already knows him)

This is what I sent:

Some stuff about

SEOUL MAN/SMALL CHILD
(full name changed for privacy…..ain’t gonna help. Placing another dollar in the Therapy Jar)

 

Nothing has changed since Premm.

Really. It hasn’t. He is the same.

Ok, well some things have changed, but not really.

He is still a parrot in child’s clothing who mimics the hilarity of others, usually when most inappropriate. If there is an attention seeking child in the class this year, keep him/her far away from Seoul Man as it will be a comedy routine, but a little less Abbott/Costello and a little more 3 Stooges with Seoul Man as Shemp.

He still thrives on routine and will readily alert you to when/what/where the next activity is to be. If you ever need to remind yourself to do something, simply ask small child to remind you, up to a week in advance, and he will do so better than a hotel wake-up service.

He still prefers idle time to himself, and instead of playing, will draw the same thing over and over again, or write your morning message (if you have one) over and over. If you want, have him write your morning messages for the month. He could probably complete the task over the course of an indoor recess.

His photographic/rote memory has gotten much more advanced. If you think he isn’t listening, ask him to repeat what you just said and he will tell you word for word. Then a week later, ask him to repeat what you said a week ago. He will probably remember what you were wearing too. Try it, its fun!

His internal GPS is equally as impressive. Ask him how to get to <insert store> he will give you turn by turn directions. I think he is Siri.

He is still very literal in his interpretations and has little to no understanding of conceptual humor/sarcasm/irony/symbolism/idioms/puns, etc. If you ask him “What’s New Jack?” expect an answer relating to the new purchase of something, which may or may not be embarrassing (disclaimer). If when asking a relatively obvious question, i.e. “Where am I going to take a shower tonight?” and you respond humorously with “Where do you think you are going to take a shower? We’re going to make you take a shower outside with the hose”, expect to find a naked child 5 minutes later on the back patio waiting to get washed and a knock on the front door from CPS. (True story, minus CPS)

Well that’s a nutshell of a snapshot of Seoul Man! Welcome back Ms. Cheryl! We are SO happy you will be with us this year! If small child progresses ½ of how he progressed when you had him 2 years ago, it will be a successful year! If you need anything from us, please let us know!

OH! One more thing. Don’t show him your wallet……

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